favorite baby prep ideas

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Whether you are pregnant or growing your family through adoption, expecting a child definitely takes it's toll - I realize you are already drained. And I hate to be the one to tell you this, but this is nothing compared to the exhaustion that's on it's way. With two of my best friends joining me in this new life of motherhood, (one welcomed a baby boy in November, and the other is expecting her baby girl in June), I've been thinking back on what I would do in advance to prepare for a baby if I were a first time mom again. So here's my list of suggestions that will ultimately make the newborn twilight zone a tiny bit more sane and manageable, which in turn allows you to enjoy that short phase more. Only take on the ones that speak to you and forget the rest. Well, actually, I lied. There is one must-do that I included for everyone...it's super important so don't skip it.

The purpose here is to simplify and prep now so your life is easier later. I promise you'll thank me.

one.

Decide now which mom friend you're gonna call or text when (not if) you have a strange mommy or baby question, need a good cry, or just a pep talk. Let them know they're your "person" - maybe with a coffee and donut in hand as a bribe? - and make sure they'll be pleasant when (again, not if) a need arises at 3 am. 

two.

Download a baby care app on your phone. It's convenient for tracking diapers (wet vs. dirty), frequency of feedings, which side you nursed on, baths, naps, etc. since your brain will be on hiatus especially the first few weeks. This is also helpful for pediatrician visits. Instead of a blank stare when they ask "how many times a day is she pooping?" you can just refer to your app. I used the Total Baby app. 

Also - we STILL use a great lullaby and noise app called Sleepy Sounds. It's nice to have it with me whenever I might need it - in the car, at a hotel, etc. 

three.

Do something to pamper yourself. Mani/pedi, hair trim/color, massage, facial, shopping in Target alone (this would be my pick!) - or all of the above! :)  Because lets face it - becoming a mom means you will often be putting yourself at the bottom of the list.

ONE.

I can't even believe I'm writing this right now, but my kid is ONE. I have a one year old. I've been a mom for 12 months. WHAT.

Funny how all the stereotypical parental sayings are turning out to be one-hundred percent accurate.
"They just grow up so fast."
"Parenting is the toughest job there is."
"It'll be the best thing that's ever happened to you."
ALL TRUE. I guess that's why people say them. Because they're true.

This first birthday has created a strange mixture of feelings inside me. Disbelief/happiness/sentimental to the max/pride/joy/compulsive need to remember everything and take note of all the ways she's still little. But mostly, happiness. 

There are times when I think, how can it be a year already? Weren't we just taking our last drive as a twosome to the hospital to meet this baby? Then on other days it feels like she's always, always been a part of our lives, and how can it possibly be only one year? It's definitely bittersweet. I'm purposely making a point to not describe it as "sad." Being present in the life of my growing, happy, healthy child is nothing to be sad about. (Thank you Kelle Hampton at Enjoying the Small Things blog for this post that opened my eyes to seeing my baby's growth in a whole new, contended kind of light.)

I still wake up surprised that this is my gloriously messy life. Constant exhaustion from the job that never ends. The job that I never, ever want to end because there's a perpetual ray of bright joy pushing through the dark clouds that can easily creep into motherhood.

the phrase that got me through my first year as a parent

I know a lot of moms really love having a newborn, so I'm probably in the minority on this one, but I'm gonna go ahead and say I don't think I'm cut out for the newborn phase. 

Maybe I'll feel differently if/when I have a second newborn....maybe it'll come to me a little easier...a little more naturally. But when I think back on life with Aven up to about 8 weeks old, I mostly feel happy to have made it through to the other side. Not that she was a particularly difficult baby....she just wasn't a particularly easy one either. 

There are certainly things I miss about a brand new baby...like her soft fuzzy head and countless little rolls. I miss her all curled up in a ball on my chest and the way she stretched with her whole body for a full 30 seconds every time she was awakened. But now that she's older, I feel like I'm actually enjoying motherhood rather than just trying to survive it. She's becoming super interactive, can actually communicate some, and is just plain hysterical. 

Being only a couple weeks out from her first birthday, it got me thinking about what words of advice were most helpful to me in navigating not only the newborn days, but my entire first year as a mom. There is one phrase that has been my go-to, my mantra, my life-saver, from day one to now.

11 months! {update}

So, on Tuesday I was at work and wrote "1/6/2015" at the top of my first patient worksheet for the day. It hit me. She's 11 months old. ELEVEN. You guys, that's only four weeks from being one year old. 

Someone hold me.

These pictures were made possible by Puffs. I literally had to bribe her to get any decent ones. 

She's decided it's more fun to take the headbands off now. She's becoming a bit more mischievous and really keeping us on our toes.

As of now, I'm not planning to do these monthly updates after she turns one, but I may change my mind. I love being able to revisit when she did what, and to relive all the milestone moments from her first year. I may just do an update every few months or so. We'll see how it goes.

perspective.

I'm truly in love with being a mom, and it's probably the thing I'm most proud of. But as Brandon and I approached the time when we wanted to expand our family, there was some hesitation on my part. Maybe because I've grown up around lots of babies and kids so I was pretty aware of their life-altering nature (that does not mean I was prepared for one of my own, until it actually happened). My husband, on the other hand, was an only child for the first eighteenish years of his life, so he falls more in the "blissfully unaware" category.

Looking back, I wonder, what was I afraid of?

I would often wonder how different my life would be after having a baby. I would never get alone time anymore, time to relax, be able to sleep in, time to escape into a good book, and just plain old free time. Wow. Did you catch all that? All of the "me" that overwhelmed those thoughts? Unbeknownst to me, a little 9 lb package was on her way to reset that mindset. A complete overhaul, you could call it. 

Basically, having a baby was a kick in the pants that I needed.

Aven Harper {a birth story}

I loved reading birth stories when I was pregnant. Something about hearing so many different scenarios helped calm some of my fears. Not to mention I just love a good story. I knew I would want to write Aven's down so I would always remember all the details that become blurry with time, but the birthing experience is a lot to process! So I've been working on this one for a while and I finally feel like I'm ready to share it.

{Also...it's kind of long. That's what 30 hours of labor will get you.}

{January 28, 2014}

It was my due date. I left an uneventful OB appointment and was greeted by little snow flurries on the way home. We knew to expect some snow, but "nothing ever sticks around here."  (LIES).  Brandon got stuck in terrible traffic on the way home from work, and we soon learned this same scenario was playing out all over the state. Due to unprepped roads and gridlock traffic, eventually people were forced to either abandon their cars and walk home, or spend the night in their vehicles. What. A. Nightmare. We just prayed that our girl would stay put until the weather passed. Brandon did not want to deliver his daughter himself and I knew I was gonna need that epidural. AMEN.

Well she must be a good listener, because stay put she did. 

The days slowly ticked by. With each one, the number of "is she here yet?" texts seemed to increase, as well as our medical bills thanks to an OB appointment every couple of days to check on the baby and my progress (hello, crappy insurance). Each doctor visit was the same - very minimal progress. Clearly, she was quite content in there. I guess I'm glad at least one of us was comfortable at this point.

I remember actually laughing when this calendar alert popped up on my phone. It was both terrifying and reassuring to be reminded that she couldn't stay there forever. 

{February 5, 2014}

I was 41 weeks and 1 day pregnant.

I had a non-stress test and an ultrasound, which measured our girl at almost 8 lbs. As a Sonographer, I'm well aware that late-term ultrasounds are not especially accurate when predicting weight so I rounded up, figuring she would be about 8 1/2 pounds. Yikes.

But judging by this belly......sounded about right.

7 Month Update!

Good grief, I feel like I just shared her 6 month update! Does it keep getting quicker? If so I'm not sure that I can handle that.

Big moments this past month included:

Trying solid foods for the first time! 

Yes, we waited until she was 6 months old because girlfriend has been super satisfied with breastmilk only till this point. We began with oatmeal cereal because I wasn't loving what I read about rice cereal. Then we also started some baby foods like apple, pear, sweet potato, and squash. I have a feeling she isn't going to like change much because every time we start a new food we swear that she hates it. But then sure enough, the second day she at least tolerates it and sometimes even face-dives for the spoon. So funny. So far she likes sweet potatoes the most!

PEP TALK for moms

This one's for all you supermoms. Yep, I'm looking at you. 

Since the day my daughter was born, I've become completely in awe of moms everywhere. Once I learned just how demanding and consuming motherhood is, I see things with new eyes, almost as if I had a LASIK procedure performed on my heart. Things are so much clearer to me now.  

I can't tell you how many times I've thought how does she do that? as I watch moms around me just doing what they do. (AKA, being AWESOME.)

Like when I see the mom at Target wrangling her four children under four and I think it's the most amazing feat I've ever witnessed. (Now I ask her if she could use a hand.) Or when I see the mom's Facebook posts about being glued to her baby's isolette in the NICU, never wanting to leave, and I wonder where she finds her strength? Surely I would never survive a trial of that magnitude. (Now I actually pray for her instead of just saying I will.) Or when I hear a baby losing it's little mind in a restaurant, I no longer feel aggravation, but instead compassion. (We all have those moments with our babies. We just want to enjoy a dinner out too!)

If you're a mom, you've had a moment like this. In fact, you've had countless unseen moments just like this, when it's just you and your baby. I could list so many examples, but they're all the same really. Selflessness. Unconditional love. Pushing through the hard moments and reveling in the sweet ones. That kind of unrelenting love that was first modeled for us by the Father. It's so powerful. And you embody that love in a million tiny little ways every day. 

being a new mom {& what I didn't see coming}

There is a vast difference between preparing for childbirth and preparing for a child. So much focus is placed on the pregnancy and how your baby will arrive, but we can't just brace ourselves for labor when there's a whole new life as a mother waiting at the end of the delivery. Moms-to-be, you deserve to have realistic expectations so you aren't completely overwhelmed on Day One of Motherhood.

In a nutshell, it's one-hundred times harder than you ever imagined it would be. It's also one-hundred times more spectacular than ever imagined it would be. Here's my take on it. 

{P.S., I have updated portions of this post with my thoughts on things one year after originally writing this!}

Overall, I enjoyed being pregnant. Sure, the heartburn was horrendous and towards the end I was just super uncomfortable. But there was something so special about it. I regularly had complete strangers congratulate me, make gender guesses, speak a blessing over me and my baby, and even physically lend a hand. And yes, there were a few awkward belly rubs here and there, but even those didn't bother me as much as I anticipated.

 I actually thought I was going to miss being pregnant. That is until my kid decided to stay put nine days past her due date and come out weighing almost as much as a bag of potatoes. Anyway, I'm not bitter.

Aven was born on February 6, 2014 and I can honestly say I've never felt more elation than that first moment she was placed on my chest. It was the hardest and most beautiful day of my life.